The Valuable Life Lessons I Learned From Pregnancy

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Growing up, I thought I would never have a baby. I considered myself “unmotherly” - whatever that means. I was wrong. Not only did I end up having a baby, but I also learned valuable life lessons during pregnancy.

At first, I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant.

I was still drinking alcohol and using recreational drugs while trying to conceive, which is a no-no. I thought I harmed my baby before I even knew he was in there (by the way, he was born perfectly healthy).

But that anxiety started to dissipate, and I just became thrilled.

Though worry always crept up on me (naturally since I was responsible for another life), I made peace with it and eventually found ways to cope. Pregnant moms are allowed to worry and they’re allowed to think about themselves.

I also realized that I was perfectly content with delaying further education because there was really no rush. In fact, pregnancy helped me discover that I want to start an online business.

I was still working 9 to 5 while pregnant so I didn’t think it was realistic at the time to start this business - I thought it was a pipe dream.

But now, here I am.

All this is to say, that pregnancy taught me some lessons about myself. I want to share these lessons with you and offer some practical advice.

Lesson #1: You’re never alone

With a growing human inside of me, I was reminded that I’m never actually alone.

Of course, this human won’t be inside of you forever but this lesson still applies outside of pregnancy.

It's important to embrace a strong support system: before, during, and after pregnancy.

You’re only alone if you choose to be alone.

I’ve always been guilty of this. Though my future aspiration is to offer therapy to moms, parents, and youth, I’ve never thought to get support myself.

I’m the type who keeps her feelings bottled up inside.

But pregnancy taught me to stop doing this so I sought online communities to connect with other pregnant moms. Now, I always feel supported.

I encourage you to:

• Be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings with your loved ones (so long as you feel safe to do so)
• Join support groups or online communities for pregnant moms through Facebook or somewhere local to you
• Speak to a therapist or psychologist - usually, you can find ones who are free or can offer a sliding scale

Lesson #2: You’re not invincible

OK, so we all know we’re not actually invincible. Still, many of us behave in ways as if nothing bad can happen to us.

Let me illustrate with a personal example.

During pregnancy, my sugar cravings went through the roof.

I didn’t think it would negatively impact the health of me or my baby.

Then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

My baby and I turned out fine but I put the both of us through undue stress: more appointments, constant blood sugar tests, obsessing over my carb intake, insulin, and an induction.

So remember, you’re vulnerable during pregnancy and need to take care of your health.

To be clear, gestational diabetes can happen to any mom

I’m not trying to scare you with this information but instead, empower you to:

• Continue (or start) to have healthy meal plans
• Do moderate exercise, such as walking, with the approval of your doctor
• Have your treats in moderation
• If you find yourself craving treats constantly, try increasing the amount of healthy carbs you eat throughout the day

Lesson #3: You’re capable of decision-making and standing up for yourself

I’ve always known that I could make my own decisions. But I’ve always struggled to assert myself and stand up for my own rights.

It wasn’t until I got pregnant that I felt particularly protective over my body and started to advocate for myself more.

When I knew I was in labour, the maternal triage at my hospital tried to convince me to wait until my water broke before coming in, which is wild to me when I think back on it.

However, I refused to believe my baby wasn’t ready to come out, so my partner and I went in anyway. Lo and behold, I was 3cm dilated.

I used to just let healthcare practitioners brush away my gut feelings, but not anymore.

My tip for you: think critically when a healthcare practitioner tells you that you need to do something.

Of course, they know what they’re talking about and are right most of the time, but not always, so you should still ask questions and do research beforehand.

Want to learn more about pregnancy? Download this FREE pregnancy guide.

Lesson #4: People treat you differently when you change

The fact that people treat you differently when you change may seem obvious, but I didn’t know the extent.

When everyone I knew found out I was pregnant, I was suddenly someone other people wanted to protect.

I was already viewed as motherly before my baby even arrived, which was funny to me at the time because I had no idea what being or behaving like a mother was like.

Few people were ever argumentative with me because they didn’t want to upset me and my baby.

I know these are all good things.

On the flip side, I couldn’t stand being called “hormonal” whenever I was upset or when people thought they could just touch my pregnant belly without permission!

People also asked questions about my health and changes in my body as if it was their business. I didn’t mind when my friends did this, but when people who I barely talk to did…just ew.

All this is to say is that you should expect to be treated differently whenever you change. Sometimes it’s nice, sometimes it’s annoying. You can choose to accept it or confront people.

Lesson #5: Don’t fall in love with your plans

I had dreams of giving birth at a birth centre and having a natural birth (for the latter, who was I kidding?).

But, I couldn’t do either of these things with my gestational diabetes diagnosis. I had no choice but to give birth at a hospital and because I was on insulin, I had to be induced at 38 weeks.

The change of plans disappointed me.

It’s OK to make plans but in any circumstance, during pregnancy or outside of pregnancy, you need to anticipate that plans may change.

Instead of falling in love with your plans:

• Anticipate the “worst” case scenario
• Differentiate between what’s within versus outside of your control
• Acknowledge your fear of the unfamiliar
• Remember what’s important to you - what your ultimate goal is (for example, to have a healthy baby)
• If your plans to change, be OK with sitting with your emotions

Lesson #6: It’s OK to worry

Whether you’re pregnant or not, there’s always something to worry about.

I worried that my gestational diabetes was going to result in an overweight newborn. I worried that my baby was going to be born with high blood sugar levels.

I worried that I was eating too much, too little. I worried that I was overexerting my body or not moving my body enough.

It’s completely natural to worry. It took me a while to recognize that I don’t need to feel stressed about worrying.

What you do with that worry is what matters.

My advice so you don’t drive yourself crazy:

• Write all your worries down in a journal
• Take a few minutes a day just to sit with yourself in silence - when thoughts arise, just bring your focus back to your breath
• Write down facts that support your thoughts and evidence contrary to your thoughts
• Consider alternatives to your worries
• Verbally state some positive affirmations, daily

Lesson #7: Priorities will inevitably change

Before pregnancy, I had my mind set on going to grad school. Unfortunately, I didn’t get in my first round of applications.

I was going to apply again the following year, but then I was pregnant. So, I thought to myself, “What’s the rush, really?”

I still want to go to grad school, but right now, my priorities are raising my baby to become a good human, growing my online business, paying off my debt, and building my savings.

Grad school will always be waiting for me, but my baby, my business, and my finances can’t grow on their own.

Similar to anticipating changes in plans, anticipate that your priorities may change as life goes on.

Lesson #8: You don't have to work a 9 to 5 job

I’ve never dreamed about becoming an entrepreneur. I just thought I’d finish school and work in some sort of clinic or hospital after.

Becoming my own boss was beyond my goals.

This may sound a bit “woo woo” but as I gradually connected with my unborn baby, I realized I wanted to be in control of my time and life energy, I want to choose when and where to work.

I don’t have to be bound to a 9-5 job. I have it in me to own an online business so I can work from home and not have to rely on strangers to take care of my baby all day long.

Of course, if you enjoy 9-5 then go for it. But just know, you have other options as well.

Lesson #9: The body is capable of incredible changes

Weight loss is a battle I’ve been losing.

I got to a point where I gave up and just accepted I’d be overweight for the rest of my life. My body is against me and will never change.

The above thoughts happen when I’m at my lowest.

But watching my pregnancy and seeing the changes in my skin, hair, and body shape, I now know my body is capable of changing in other ways.

With pregnancy, physical changes obviously result from hormones and a growing human inside of you, but aside from pregnancy, there are behaviours that can change what’s going on within.

Right now, I’m still in awe that I’ve been keeping my baby alive through my breastmilk.

Witnessing all the changes I’ve been through, I know I can lose weight.

While I’m breastfeeding though, this is a goal that’ll need to wait to keep my baby and me healthy.

Anyway, I digress.

If you’ve felt or still feel the same way I did, remind yourself that your body will always be capable of change. You just have to put in the work…unfortunately.

Prepare for a baby using this FREE pregnancy guide.

Lesson #10: Patience is hard but doable

Pregnancy really tested my patience.

I mean, 9 months is a long time for your body to not be your own.

There were moments when I really wanted to have some wine with my friends and have the freedom to move in any way I wanted.

The pain of contractions was the worst I’ve experienced.

But pregnancy has taught me the art of patience and endurance. From the long wait for the baby to arrive to the physical discomforts, it has shown me the strength I never knew I had.

I did it though and now I find myself more patient than ever.

If you find yourself frequently feeling impatient, as if you’re going to explode, try:

• Practicing gratitude so you can focus on what you have versus don’t have
• Just pause, and actually listen to people when they’re talking to you - try making a mental note whenever you think of a response to someone before they’re even done speaking
• Embrace slow living
• Fake it until you make it - in other words, pretend you’re the most patient person in the world and you’ll find that you actually do feel more patient

Lesson #11: You can pursue further education outside of school

Pregnancy has sparked a desire for knowledge and understanding. It has reminded me how much I love learning.

I’ve spent hours researching prenatal care, birthing options, and parenting techniques, which has empowered me to make informed decisions.

This spark has carried over after pregnancy and is one of the other reasons I desired to start a blog. I want to share my knowledge with other moms like me.

I want you to:

• Read often (including blog posts, audiobooks, magazines, and physical books)
• Seek to understand what you’ve learned
• Have thoughtful conversations with experienced people (for example, you can connect with me and chat about pregnancy and what to expect with your newborn)

Lesson #12: There’s always someone (almost) going through the same thing as you

This lesson connects back to the first - you’re never actually alone AND there’s always someone who is going through something similar to you.

Recognizing other people’s pain doesn’t mean you have to discount and disregard your feelings, but it can be helpful to know that what you’re going through is normal.

Joining prenatal classes and online communities has provided me with a sense of belonging and the opportunity to connect with other expectant parents.

Sharing experiences, fears, and joys has been a source of comfort and reassurance.

I encourage you to do the same thing for whatever you're experiencing, whether it be pregnancy or something outside pregnancy.

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These lessons have shaped my perspective and provided valuable insights during my pregnancy journey.

I have carried these lessons over to my day-to-day life.

If you have any lessons you’d like to share, please DM me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest. I’d love to hear what you learned while being pregnant! You can also send me an email instead if you prefer.