5 Different Types of Mom Guilt (And Tips To Overcome Them)
Did you know there are several types of mom guilt?
Guilt is something I’ve wrestled with personally. When I first became a mom, I felt guilty about everything.
More recently, I didn't want to go back to work because I feared I was abandoning my son. Leaving him with a sitter felt unbearable. I even felt guilty for something as small as forgetting to change his diaper in time during the earlier months.
I was consumed by the belief that I wasn't doing enough or wasn't doing things "right."
It wasn't until I sought coaching that I realized much of this guilt was rooted in unhelpful thoughts. I was holding onto a sense of false guilt, a burden that wasn't mine to carry.
By learning to challenge these thoughts and shift my mindset, I began to release that guilt and move forward with confidence, pursuing my goals and dreams while being the mom I wanted to be.
Now, I help other moms do the same. Let’s break down the five different types of mom guilt and how you can overcome them so you can pursue your goals too.
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Authentic Guilt vs. False Guilt
Before listing the 5 different types of mom guilt, I want to emphasize that sometimes feeling guilty is justified.
There can be good reasons for us to feel guilty. In those cases, we should seek a resolution or make amends. Valorie Burton calls this *authentic guilt.*
Other times, we feel guilt just because we think we should - this guilt isn’t useful and is considered false guilt.
Throughout this blog post, I’ll focus on false guilt and share tips on overcoming each type.
The first step toward letting go of mom guilt is to explore what thought specifically resulted in that guilt. That thought probably falls within one of these types of mom guilt. If you need help with this, be sure to grab my free mom guilt journal by signing up below:
1. Guilt About Not Doing Enough
Many moms struggle with the feeling that they’re not doing enough for their children or family.
This guilt can stem from comparing yourself to others, trying to juggle too many responsibilities, or simply feeling stretched too thin.
Feeling guilty about not doing enough often stems from a deep inner judgment about what “enough” means.
This thought pattern is tricky because it’s so subjective—while one mom might feel content with what she’s accomplished, another mom who has done just as much or more might still feel like she’s falling short.
It’s easy to feel like you should be doing more when constantly comparing yourself to an unrealistic standard.
What matters most is that you're showing up for your kids with love and intention.
Tip to Overcome It: Focus on quality over quantity. Remind yourself that being present with your child is more important than doing it all. I like to have 10 minutes of one-on-one time since it's better than spending every waking minute with my son but wishing I was doing something else. Setting boundaries and prioritizing what matters can help you let go of the pressure to do everything.
2. Guilt About Not Doing the Right Thing
One of the types of mom guilt I struggled with the most was feeling like I was doing something wrong as a mom.
Sometimes mom guilt creeps in because you feel like you're making the wrong decisions, whether it’s about parenting styles, discipline, or how you spend your time. It’s easy to second-guess yourself.
Feeling guilty about not doing the right thing can weigh on a mom’s heart, especially when every choice feels like it carries so much importance.
But here’s something to remember: "wrong" is deeply personal.
What feels right or wrong for you as a mom is shaped by your values—what you believe is meaningful and important for your family.
So, while another mom might make different choices based on her values, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Trust that your values are guiding you to make the best decisions for your unique situation.
Tip to Overcome It: Trust your instincts. Remember that you know your child better than anyone else. When doubt arises, take a step back, do some research, and talk to other moms for advice. But in the end, trust your gut. If you need help battling these thoughts, read my guide on frequently asked questions about mom guilt.
3. Guilt About Harming Something or Someone
This guilt can range from worrying that you’re somehow “messing up” your child to feeling responsible for causing hurt to others, even unintentionally.
It might stem from believing that you’re doing something that could negatively affect your child’s well-being or future.
Feeling guilt about harming something or someone often cuts deep because it’s not just about believing you did something wrong—it’s also tied to the pain or problem you think you’ve caused for someone else, especially when it comes to your kids or loved ones.
As moms, we carry so much responsibility, and when things don’t go perfectly, it’s easy to spiral into guilt, worrying that our actions hurt those we care about most.
Still, mistakes happen, and they don’t define your worth as a mom.
What matters is that you care enough to feel this way, and that shows how much love and intention you bring to your family.
Tip to Overcome It: Remember that no one is perfect and that mistakes are part of parenting. Focus on self-care and forgiveness—for both yourself and your child. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by this kind of guilt, check out my wellness tips and tricks for moms to help you refocus and take care of your needs.
4. Guilt About Having Too Much
This type of guilt can occur when moms feel they have more than others. Some of us have more time, resources, or opportunities than others. It can create a sense of discomfort or a feeling that you don’t deserve what you have.
Feeling guilty about having too much creeps in when you find yourself questioning whether you deserve good fortune.
When we see others suffering while we’re thriving, it can trigger uncomfortable feelings.
It can also make us feel as if we should feel grateful for all we have and not express when we need help or don’t like the situation we’re in.
While it’s important to recognize your privilege, it’s also important to recognize that you’re human and have needs too.
Your prosperity puts you in a position to help and support others. Still, you deserve to receive that support back.
Embrace your good fortune, knowing it doesn’t take from anyone else.
Tip to Overcome It: Gratitude is a powerful antidote to this guilt. Engaging in acts of kindness or supporting other moms who are struggling can help you feel more grounded. It’s also important to recognize your worth so you feel more comfortable receiving support. Just because someone might have “less” than you, doesn't take away from your worthiness—check out this article on recognizing your worth.
5. Guilt About Wanting to Do Something But Not Doing It
Sometimes, mom guilt emerges from the conflict between what you want to do for yourself and what you feel like you should do as a mom.
Whether it’s taking time for self-care, pursuing a passion, or spending time away from your kids, the guilt can hit hard. We feel this way as if we’re putting ourselves before our family.
Feeling guilty about wanting to do something but not doing it is a common struggle for moms.
Sometimes, it’s because you wanted to do something "bad"—like snapping at your child when you're exhausted—and that guilt lingers even if you didn’t act on it.
Other times, it's because you had good intentions, like planning a fun activity or tackling a to-do list, but you didn't have enough energy and didn’t get it done.
We all have moments where we fall short of our intentions, and that doesn’t make you a bad mom.
Permit yourself to let go of the guilt and recognize that you’re doing your best. It's also OK to want to be alone sometimes.
Tip to Overcome It: It’s okay to want time for yourself. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as a better, more energized mom. Start by carving out alone time without feeling guilty. If you need to sacrifice a plan to take care of yourself, learn to practice self-compassion.
Conquering Different Types of Mom Guilt
Navigating the world of mom guilt can feel like an uphill battle.
There are many types of mom guilt—feeling like you're not doing enough, not doing the right thing, harming someone, having too much, or even wanting to do something but not doing it. These types of guilt can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to hold you back.
The good news is, you now know how to recognize guilt. Now it's time to learn to challenge unhelpful thoughts so you can release those burdens.
Whether you’re setting boundaries, practicing self-care, or reminding yourself that you deserve your blessings, you can begin to let go of the guilt that doesn’t serve you. Remember, every mom experiences guilt, but it doesn’t define you as a mom.
One of the best tools I’ve found for overcoming mom guilt is journaling. That’s why I created my Letting Go of Mom Guilt Journal. It’s designed to help you brain-dump your thoughts, explore how they contribute to guilt, and work toward building healthier beliefs. Taking time to reflect and process can make a difference in shifting your mindset and freeing yourself from guilt.
Let’s face it, mama—mom guilt may never fully disappear, but with the right mindset and tools, you can loosen its grip and focus on what really matters: being the loving, capable mom you are.
Grab the mom guilt journal for free by signing up below: