Moving from Putting Everyone First to Prioritizing My Happiness
Mama, have you ever dared to dream about going from putting everyone first to prioritizing your happiness?
Do you think you can do this unapologetically…without all the mom guilt?
Today, I am going to share my very own transformation story, filled with invaluable lessons I've learned during this journey.
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Starting with Putting Everyone First: My Humble Beginnings
From the moment I became a mom, my instinct was to prioritize the needs of my family above all else.
Every waking moment was dedicated to ensuring everyone else's happiness and well-being, often at the expense of my own.
I was the epitome of a selfless mother, but deep down, I knew something was missing.
I’ve always been a people pleaser and this manifested into taking the brunt of the load of caring for my newborn son. It also meant I was too afraid to set boundaries with my mom, dad, and other visitors during the few weeks postpartum.
From sacrificing sleep to tend to my son while my partner got to sleep soundly and burning myself out by doing most of the cooking and cleaning, the weight of putting everyone else first began to take its toll.
I would sit on the couch all day and watch Modern Family, which was great but then I found myself not showering, crying way too much, and not wanting to eat a damn thing. I also grew resentful of my partner and my innocent baby boy.
Despite my best intentions, I realized that I couldn't pour from an empty cup forever.
Do you experience guilt whenever you prioritize your well-being and happiness sometimes? Don't worry, you can work on this. Grab my FREE Letting Go of Mom Guilt journal and take the first step to feeling happier in motherhood. Sign up below:
Defining Success: Prioritizing My Happiness
As I reflected on my life and what true happiness meant to me, I began to redefine success.
It wasn't about checking off every item on my to-do list or being the perfect mom; it was about finding joy in the everyday moments and prioritizing my well-being without guilt.
I created a new to-do list that involved daily actions I could take that would make me feel fulfilled and accomplished by the end of the day, whether the laundry and dishes got done or not.
Making my happiness a priority became my new North Star, guiding every decision I made.
I now go to the gym and do yoga regularly. And I see my best friend multiple times a week. I also get to build my business and prioritize my entrepreneurial journey.
Doing these things has really made me feel fulfilled.
Prioritizing my happiness didn’t mean neglecting my responsibilities as a mom. It meant understanding that taking care of myself was essential for me to show up fully for my family. I now play with my son without feeling distracted and resentful.
Whether it was carving out time for self-care or pursuing my new blogging business, I knew that prioritizing my happiness would ultimately benefit everyone around me.
Mapping My Journey: An Insight into Moving from Putting Everyone First to Prioritizing My Happiness
Armed with a newfound sense of purpose, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.
Along the way, I stumbled, learned, and grew, each step bringing me closer to the life I had always envisioned for myself and my family.
I think the biggest thing that helped me make this transition to prioritizing my happiness was learning how I can practice self-compassion. The key skills I learned were to challenge my negative self-talk and set boundaries.
I also learned how to be more vulnerable with people and be brave enough to tell them about my feelings.
Learning to say no and embracing imperfection helped me to discover that small changes could lead to significant transformations.
Now, I feel less miserable every day and can tackle the challenges of being a first-time mom with less stress, guilt, and self-doubt.
Read more of my blog posts on mom guilt, self-care, and self-worth:
ONE POWERFUL STEP TO CARVE OUT ME-TIME WITHOUT THE GUILT
HOW TO RECOGNIZE YOUR WORTH IN MOTHERHOOD
BEFORE YOU TACKLE MOM GUILT ALONE, READ THIS
THE ULTIMATE CHECKLIST FOR SELF-CARE DURING MOTHERHOOD
Negotiating Roadblocks: Evading Mom Guilt
One of the biggest roadblocks on my journey was overcoming mom guilt—the nagging voice in my head that questioned whether I was doing enough for my family.
I learned to recognize that self-care wasn't selfish but necessary for my well-being and those I love.
As I mentioned before, this takes challenging your self-talk and self-criticism. You have to put in the work and it takes time.
Negative thoughts, guilt, and shame all come up for me still.
But, I just stay mindful. I acknowledge that these feelings come up and don’t let them define who I am as a mom. By letting these emotions sit there, I am giving myself permission to feel rather than avoid them.
And when we try to avoid these emotions, we end up doing crazy things like binge drinking, eating, and sleeping too much.
I don’t let mom guilt stop me from prioritizing my happiness - I prioritize it unapologetically. I think my family is way better off because of this.
This may sound self-indulgent, but I’m pretty sure I’m their rock. My partner has no idea what to do in the kitchen!
Anyway, I found ways to challenge my inner critic and embrace the joy that comes from taking care of myself. You can read more about how I challenge mom guilt and what I do for self-care.
Conclusion
The journey from putting everyone first to prioritizing my happiness unapologetically has been fulfilling.
I hope my experiences illuminating this path will be a beacon for those embarking on a similar journey.
If you're on a similar path, needing a roadmap to become a happier, more fulfilled mama, I've designed a journal that will help you take the first step, which begins with tackling your mom guilt. Grab the free Letting Go of Mom Guilt Journal. Find journal prompts that will help you explore where your mom guilt is coming from and will help you brainstorm different beliefs and thoughts about yourself to achieve your goal. Sign up below!
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