The Ultimate Checklist for Self-Care During Motherhood
It’s no secret that self-care during motherhood is much needed. Still, many people are tired of hearing the word “self-care” because it’s over-talked about and everyone already knows they need it.
I’m talking about self-care today because though people know they need it, they don’t execute it. This is especially true for many moms. The next time you roll your eyes when you hear about self-care, I want you to think about this article.
The biggest reason I struggled during postpartum and my first year of motherhood is that I didn’t make any time for myself (and becoming a mom is naturally hard and is a huge adjustment).
In this blog post, I’m going to walk you through simple actions you can take to integrate a bit of self-care into motherhood daily. Or, at the least, weekly. I’m not going to only talk about the “fluffy” stuff here (though there is a time and place for that).
Instead, I’m going to talk about the things you need to do to stay healthy so that you have the energy every day to do what needs to be done. When we commit to becoming moms, we’re in it for the long haul. We need to do the things that help us show up for ourselves and our children. Self-care in motherhood will do that for us.
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Different Types of Self-Care
I’m not going to dive into the definition of self-care too deeply but will offer a basic overview.
Self-care is any activity that we consciously execute to benefit our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Depending on who you listen to, it’s generally agreed that self-care is divided into 6 categories:
- Spiritual - helps you find inner peace, deepen your sense of connection to something greater than yourself, and cultivate resilience in the face of challenges (e.g., prayer, mindfulness).
- Emotional - helps you manage stress, build resilience, and cultivate a positive mindset (e.g., setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-compassion and forgiveness, engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation).
- Professional - helps prevent burnout, enhances job satisfaction, and promotes long-term career success (e.g., seeking opportunities for growth and advancement, advocating for your needs in the workplace).
- Social - helps foster a sense of belonging, reduces feelings of loneliness, and strengthens your support network (e.g., spending quality time with friends and family, participating in social activities or support groups).
- Physical - helps you maintain energy levels, stay healthy, and better cope with the demands of motherhood (e.g., getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, staying hydrated).
- Psychological - helps promote mental clarity, creativity, and overall cognitive function (e.g., reading, learning new skills, journaling).
Arguably, these categories have a lot of overlap. You can probably see why practicing activities in each category would serve you well.
When creating your self-care checklist, keep each of these categories in mind. You can use my checklist below for inspiration for self-care during motherhood.
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The Ultimate Checklist for Self-Care During Motherhood
It’s so easy for us to get lost in motherhood and take care of other people instead of us, but keeping a checklist allows me to fit my own needs too.
So, let’s dive into what I do pretty much every day to ensure I’m taken care of.
Keep in mind that I didn’t categorize the checklist because my approach to self-care is holistic; however, you can feel free to organize them any way you like in your notebook or planner if that’s where you’re keeping track of your checklist (which I highly encourage you to do!).
Set Your Non-Negotiables
Setting your non-negotiables is a good thing to do every month.
Picking out the things you need to do every day or week, no matter the circumstance makes it so much easier to set boundaries and prioritize what you value the most.
Pick your non-negotiables and commit to sticking to them for at least 30 days.
Here’s one way you can pick them out:
- Write down a list of all your current challenges, anything that makes you feel resentful
- Circle the top 3 challenges that give you the biggest headache
- Pick 1 non-negotiable for each challenge that will help you address that challenge
For example, one of my biggest challenges was doing something I enjoy because I thought I was being selfish by not spending that time with my baby instead, which created guilt.
To combat this, I committed myself to give one-on-one attention to my son for at least 30 minutes and give myself some “me” time for at least 30 minutes each day.
What are your non-negotiables? You can add some of the items in this self-care checklist to your list.
Do Something You Love Every Week
I try to read or watch a TV show every day, but some of us might feel comfortable with only doing it weekly.
You might only be able to commit 10 minutes each day or 2 hours per week.
Whatever the time commitment, doing something you enjoy is an important element of your psychological self-care.
The activities that bring us joy help us step out of the mindset that we need to be working or exercising at all hours of the day to truly be productive.
Pro tip: save the chores for when your child naps so you can do something you love in peace instead.
Deep Breaths Every Day
I meditate for at least 5 minutes each day to ground myself when I'm overstimulated.
Sometimes, when the to-do list gets too long or the demands of motherhood creep up, my heart starts to race at an uncomfortable place. This is when I know I need to slow down.
If you take the time to pause and meditate, you're taking advantage of a crucial component of self-compassion. You're learning how to not get so wrapped up in your thoughts and feelings.
Get Your Much-Needed Rest
There are two ways I get the sleep I need:
- I try to sleep 8 hours a night (doesn’t always happen with a baby) and
- I nap for 20 minutes in the afternoon when my son lays down.
If you think 5 hours a night is good enough, you should check out the book Why We Sleep.
Small amounts of sleep might work in the short term, but it has detrimental effects on our health in the long term.
Getting more sleep is something I’m still working on!
Talk to an Adult
Other than your partner, who have you talked to today who isn’t a child? If you can think of a few names, then I commend you!
If you’ve gone the whole day without talking to an adult (other than your partner), I recommend making it a practice to reach out to at least one other person every day.
I call my mom, text my best friend, and engage on TikTok every day to meet my social needs.
Humans are social creatures, and moms are no different.
Add talking to an adult as part of your self-care during motherhood.
Move Your Body
We all know that we should exercise daily but I think it’s something people tend to overcomplicate (myself included).
If cleaning around the house is the only thing you can handle, that still counts! As long as you're walking and bending and things like that.
Making daily walks a habit is challenging for me but it's the least I can do to get moving.
I also used to try following workouts on YouTube but I discovered I need the accountability of a gym and being around other like-minded folks to meet my physical goals. I’ve added going to the gym a few times a week to my checklist.
Go on a walk, do a simple workout, and clean around for 10 minutes each daily and you’ll get 30 minutes of body movement!
Drink Lots of Water
The amount of water you need daily varies depending on your level of activity and if you breastfeed.
I drink about a gallon a day because it helps me feel refreshed and hydrated. But the daily recommended 8 cups might be enough for you.
More than 1 person in my life barely drinks enough water every day, so I felt like it was worth mentioning in this blog post. So, this is your friendly reminder to add it to your checklist for self-care during motherhood.
Eat Healthy, Cooked Meals Most Days
I say eat healthy, cooked meals most days because I don’t think it’s feasible to ask moms to do this every day.
If it means saving me 30 minutes to an hour to get something else done or rest, I will eat takeout or pop something frozen in the oven.
I think if you’re eating cooked meals at least 5 times a week, that’s much better than getting burned out and ordering takeout every day for a week, don’t you think?
Practice Self-Compassion & Recognize Your Self-Worth
Finally, practicing self-compassion and recognizing your worth is something you will need to continuously do.
I do this every day by journalling. You can also pick out some affirmations and mantras to repeat when you're feeling stuck as a mom.
Being self-compassionate and recognizing your worth is about being OK with being the “good enough” mom. It's about celebrating your achievements no matter how big or small.
It’s also about forgiving and still valuing yourself even when you make mistakes.
By reading this post, I hope you realize that practicing self-care during motherhood doesn’t have to be hard.
Pick 3 non-negotiable things and do them for 30 days. You can pick one habit, do it for a few days, and when it becomes natural, add on another habit.
Keep things simple but impactful and I hope this checklist gives you some ideas for how you can do that.
Remember that your child and your partner are not the only people that matter. You do too. And you need to put your needs first to take care of anyone else’s needs second.
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