Defining Matrescence and How to Adjust to New Motherhood
As someone who's going through the experience of motherhood for the very first time, I often receive questions from my friends and women on the internet about what becoming a mom is really like. My knee-jerk reaction is to talk about matrescence but then I remember, most people haven’t heard of this term let alone what it means.
I sure didn’t until I did some research in an attempt to understand what I was going through.
So, because I wish more people told me about what becoming a mom is like, I decided to write this and share it with as many people as I can, women and men. I dive deeper into detailing what matrescence is in this article.
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The Definition of Matrescence
First, let's start with a simple explanation. In essence, matrescence is the process of becoming a mother. It encompasses the physical, emotional, psychological, and social changes that occur during pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood.
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What Does Matrescence Involve?
Dr. Alexandra Sacks explains how matrescence is like adolescence except it’s a developmental stage only women who get pregnant go through.
Just as we go through all the hormonal and bodily changes during adolescence, we go through these changes in pregnancy.
Matrescence consists of several key components, such as:
- Physical Changes: Matrescence involves significant physical transformations, including hormonal fluctuations, weight gain, and changes in body shape to accommodate pregnancy and breastfeeding.
- Emotional Changes: The emotional journey of matrescence can be intense and multifaceted, ranging from feelings of joy, love, and fulfillment to anxiety, self-doubt, and overwhelm. It’s common for moms to go through ambivalence throughout pregnancy and all of motherhood.
- Identity Shifts: Becoming a mother often leads to profound shifts in identity and self-concept as women navigate their new roles and responsibilities as caregivers. In psychology, role confusion happens as an adolescent develops but it happens in moms as well. This confusion could look like not being sure about their beliefs, where they fit in, and who they are anymore.
- Relationship Dynamics: Matrescence also impacts relationships, including those with partners, family members, friends, and colleagues, as boundaries shift and priorities realign.
Don’t forget to check out my other blog posts on motherhood:
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The Importance of Understanding Matrescence
Understanding matrescence is pivotal because it validates the experiences of mothers and provides a framework for navigating the challenges and joys of early motherhood.
Recognizing matrescence as a normal and natural process can help alleviate feelings of isolation, guilt, and self-doubt.
If you think about it, did you have any mom tell you what motherhood was really like, both physically and emotionally? Perhaps you did, but I didn’t.
That’s because we’ve all been too scared to express how we really feel as if we can’t think a certain way without feeling guilty.
But the thing is, the majority of the time, other moms have been through almost the same thing as you. It’s just that none of us know it because we don’t talk about it. It’s a vicious cycle.
Not only will understanding this concept encourage us to talk more about mother’s experiences, but it will help us understand why we feel the way we do.
Put your hand up if, at one point or another, you thought you had postpartum depression.
It’s possible you did, but it’s also just normal to have sad and uncomfortable emotions after having a baby.
If a depressed mood persists even during moments where you’d normally be happy and you struggle to function day-to-day, I’d recommend talking to your doctor.
So, by talking about matrescence and becoming a mother, more and more people will start to understand just how wild a shift motherhood is to a woman and maybe one day, society will place less pressure on us to be the perfect mom.
How to Adapt to New Motherhood
Now that we've explored what matrescence is and why it matters, let's look at how to embrace it. Through my experiences, I've found the following steps helpful:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it's okay to struggle and make mistakes. I think this is the best way for us to steer away from the guilt that isn’t useful for us. Recognize that you’re going through a period of development and everything is going to be new to you for a long time.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and professionals who can offer guidance, empathy, and practical assistance. I highly encourage you to join online communities with other moms as well to feel more connected and seek validation.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. I like to do this by engaging in something that keeps me grounded like watching TV, doing a quick meditation, or doing something I enjoy like reading a book.
- Stay Flexible: Embrace the unpredictability of motherhood and remain open to adapting to changing circumstances and needs.
To recap, matrescence is a valuable concept that sheds light on the profound journey of becoming a mother. By understanding and embracing matrescence, mothers can navigate the challenges and joys of early motherhood with greater resilience, compassion, and self-awareness.
Are you struggling with mom guilt and the challenges of matrescence? Grab my Letting Go of Mom Guilt journal, a valuable resource designed to help you explore and overcome feelings of guilt and self-doubt on your journey through motherhood. Sign up for it for FREE below:
Don’t forget to check out my other blog posts on motherhood:
THE BEST BUDGET-FRIENDLY MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IDEAS FOR 2024
IDENTITY CHANGE IN MOMS AND HOW TO MAKE PEACE WITH IT
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